3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
where am i from again
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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