is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
