You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
