There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
