She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
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