I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
