Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he fucked my hip out of place.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
