Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
