I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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