Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he fucked my hip out of place.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
