New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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