I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
