Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
