There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
