She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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