apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
