I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
