Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize