She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
