We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
