I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
