How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize