i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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