He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
