I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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