fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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