i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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