i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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