Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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