maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
