so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
