return my video game
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
