We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
