And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
