i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
