so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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