You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
