If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
