i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
