The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
