she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
