i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
