i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize