If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
love makes seman taste better
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
