What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
