Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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