She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
