We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
