You were right. It hurts to walk today.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
