can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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