I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
