I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
pray to the hookup gods
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
