I wanna bring you to show and tell
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
