dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
