She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
