i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
