...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
