I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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