:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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