he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize